Saturday, November
15, 2025 - Journalist and media personality, Ciru Muriuki, has opened up
about the language people use around grief, urging compassion and sensitivity
when supporting those who have lost loved ones.
In a heartfelt Instagram video, she highlighted five common
phrases that, though often well-intentioned, can feel dismissive or even
painful to someone in mourning.
Among the phrases she highlighted was “It is
well,” which she described as invalidating.
“It is the opposite of well. Just say nothing,” she advised.
Another common statement, “They are in a better place,”
struck her as deeply hurtful: “The only better place I would want is here with
me.”
The former BBC journalist also cautioned against telling
mourners “They
wouldn’t want you to be sad,” noting that no one can speak for the
wishes of the departed.
She rejected attempts to romanticize pain, such as “This
will make you a better person,” and called “Don’t
worry, you’ll get another one” one of the most insensitive things
to say, especially to parents grieving a child.
Ciru’s reflections come after a deeply personal journey.
She lost her father to COVID-19 in 2020, describing it as
her first real encounter with grief and in early 2024, she faced another
devastating loss when her fiancé, fellow journalist and actor, Charles Ouda,
passed away.
“Grief is not something that fades. It’s something you learn
to live with,” she shared, adding that the experience has taught her patience,
self-compassion, and the importance of cherishing loved ones.
Her message resonated widely, sparking conversations about
how society often misunderstands grief and how best to support those
experiencing it.
The Kenyan DAILY POST
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