HELPING ANYONE HOPING TO CHOOSE A KIKUYU WOMAN:
1. Nyambura :They talk like parrot and specialize in gossip.They enjoy alien styles in sex and are very generous. Most drink like madness. Love watching porn a lot.
2. Njeri: Small in stature; very enterprising; love sex a lot and mostly are single mothers with multiple facebook partners who help her take care of her kids
3. Wambui: Ngai….they are the real whores; hata wakilewa lazima wagawe njee; can rarely keep friends and will always pit you against your family members; very demanding sexually but are clean hearted. Don’t let them close to your boyfriend….utajua hujui
4. Muthoni: Hujifanya ameokoka lakini ni moto ya kuotea mbali; cheap liquor and can be screwed anywhere akishalewa. Love attending weddings sana with an eye on bwana harusi
5. Wairimu: Wife material but ukimskosea your neck will be found in Ruai and your legs in Uthiru. The real Kikuyu sex marathoners; kama you are a one shotter please leave Wairimu alone, they need at least 4 per night. Real demons
6. Wanjiru and Wanjiku: The names say it all; very beautiful; promiscuous; and always smile devilishly and start every sentence wakisema Ngai!!! Light skinned; lesbians and love the most exotic sex styles; They love choir and are known to have brought mighty men of God down ; very very dangerous and are mostly very rich yet very few can explain the sources of their wealth
7. Njambi: Hawa ndiyo the most backward of Kikuyu ladies; they spend most of their time on facebook hoping to get rich men or white men to marry them. Mostly catholics; ACK or PCEA.
8. Wangui: Learned; not very cute but always have tight pussies; wana maringo sana and can go to any length to get what they want or whom they want. They always have pseudo facebook accounts.
9. Waithera: Very romantic. Love gossip; very prentious; Kujifanya they know everything yet they know nothing. Spend a lot of time online looking for lovers especially whitemen
10. Mumbi: Very pretty; very mouthy; love for mothertoungue; can sleep even with ten men per day as long as they can get her money or opportunities…unlike Wanjiru and Wanjiku…they are whores but really high class…or so they believe.
11. Nyawira: Dark; shapely ass low IQ…can even fuck a dog as long as ina dick….they are the lowest caste of Kikuyu women. Mostly pretend to be born again. Most are single mothers and are from single mothers.
12. NJOKI: Tiny; kiherehere and not wife materials but they are very generous with sex if you cant take them out; they always look guilty even when they are innocent; trouble makers sana and will tell lies looking so real you wont believe.
13. Nyokabi: Kizungu mingi na kujifanya wamesoma lakini they are very depressed kwa ndani; very cute with nice ass and boobs but because they are mainly mothers by the time they hit 18 most men know them as players. They pretend to look classy lakini hakuna kitu.
14. Wangare: They are beautiful; believe in witchcraft and can snatch you husband without a second thought, hawana aibu and very promiscuous but they rarely miss church.
The Kenyan DAILY POST