HOW TO MAKE YOUR WIFE / GIRLFRIEND LOVE YOU, WORSHIP YOU AND STICK TO / WITH YOU UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART
1. Give her all your ATM cards plus the passwords
2. Let her access your phone all the time
3. Never cheat on her
4. Always allow her to win an argument.
5. Never source for a maid, that’s her work. You should also not allow your maid to laugh at your jokes while the wife is watching
6. Even if she is ugly, tell her she is beautiful and lovely—it improves her self-esteem. If you don’t tell her another man will do so and snatch her from you.
7. Always have more money than her
8. It’s only your wife who should cry in your house
9. Help her family—brothers, sisters, mother etc. When you marry, you marry the whole clan
10. Ensure she gets everything in bed until she says,” inawaka, tosha sasa”. Failure to provide that, the likes of gym instructors, pastors, Kevo, Peter, Mike, Dennoh and Jemmo will help you.
11. Never beat her. The only time she should cry is when unamnyunyuzia maji ya Maisha.
12. Don’t marry a second wife, otherwise you might die before your time.
13. Make her feel better than other women, buy her a small car, good house, give plenty of food and alot money.
14. Give her beautiful girls and handsome boys.
15. Never pounce on her like the way a Cheetah pounces on a Monkey. Let your hands and lips or even tongue go over her sensitive parts / areas
16. If you need a Maid, then let her be from your Blood Family.
17. Keep telling her how you will never Marry another woman beside her.
18. Refuse to EAT FOOD cooked by another FEMALE Creature, including in Hotels.
19. Stay together with her when you're at home even when she's in the Kitchen Cooking.
20. Tell her how you'd still Marry her even in the Next Life. Ensure that you incorporate LIES in what you tell her because that's what they like.
21. Never be Hardhearted in terms of Apologising to her when wrong. They love it.