1

By Silas Nyachanwani

Maina Kageni and Mwalimu King'ang'i have a topic that need not be trivialised.

They are discussing if women should support their men when men lose their jobs or going through a bad patch in life.

There is a danger of having people who have not gone through proper journalism training.

I don't blame Maina and King'ang'i. If anything I love their show as they are the best social barometers I know.

Now, Maina says, women must never support their men and if they do, it should be for such a limited period, say three months. That a man has to get a job pronto. King'ang'i says that is the biggest hate speech he has ever heard.

There is nothing new under the sun.

In the 1990s, when our fathers lost their jobs, our jobless mothers if anything kept the family together. Now, the society sacrifices so much to empower women and once they have been empowered, they really hate the idea of supporting a spouse when the going is patchy.

And it is people like Maina who give women wrong ideas. I have seen men(most of the time) who marry and raise the entire clan of the wife out of poverty. Most women, however rich, will never try to lift the man's family.

Women like weddings. They like the marriage to be formalised. Among the vows they take is to support a man, for better or for worse. But most men of my generation who have lost a job, know that thing we see behind trucks, "poteza kazi ujue tabia ya mkeo is real."

For women here is the thing. It is your job to protect and raise the family. You can read all the literature, you can watch all the trashy TV, you can cheer each other with the girls, but deep down just know, once you abandon your responsibility as a wife, the family goes the drain.

Many women are sending their men to an early grave with undue pressure. When a man fails to get support from his spouse, he may turn to alcohol, or other bad habits to distract himself.

Many women with degrees and in cities are so mean-spirited, they actually scare me.
I know men have a lot of pulling up their socks, learn to believe in themselves again. But there is no point of fighting for gender equality if women can't support their men when the going gets tough.

Women always say, "we always support the men, but men don't know how to behave, and when they get their money, they go chasing other women...'

Could be true, but that is an exceptional, not the rule. When supporting someone and this is both for men and women, don't act like a god. Do so unconditionally. No pressure.

Lastly, we must stop teaching bad literature in schools. You can point to a time in our history that women got wrong notions about gender roles: That book, The River and the Source is the source of the rotten attitude we have around.

Support your spouse, if they turn into snakes when fortunes turn around, leave them. Soon or later, they screw up a good one.
Loading...

Post a Comment

  1. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH Very true sometimes i think maina is sick and needs help only foolish women can follow here ideas no wonder we have so many single mothers and single ladies who think marriage is bed of roses or a walk in the park and they don't know which way to go and who kills this generations is people like maina kageni and Caroline Mutoko who have no thinking positive to air,a wise man once said Social media are no longer performing an envisaged function of creating a positive communication link among friends, family and professionals. It is a veritable battleground, where insults fly from the human quiver, damaging lives, destroying self-esteem and a person's sense of self-worth.

    ReplyDelete

 
Top