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1 Mother Birds.
They yearn for the fruits of their womb but yet to find the right adult male. In family functions or events, they spend more time with other peoples babies and hope to get  noticed as wife materials by eligible bachelors. They love cuddling cute babies and avoiding over weight ones with running nose and in dire need of diaper change.

2. Birds of Wrath.
These feminist lash out at men  on social media blaming them for everything going wrong in the world including their delayed periods! They post toxic advice telling married women to chop off their husbands 'willy' yet they know nothing about marriage.

3. Angry Birds
They angry over everything, her pastor, mother , sisters, neighbors, her cat, colleagues and especially men who suggests that all they need is a "good lay."

4. Birds of Prey.
They are happy their friend got married  but given an opportunity they will sleep with the hubby at the drop of a hat. She will also tell the hubby that his wife is still in communication with the ex-lover who went to US in 1998 after the bomb blast. Sometimes when desperate they date old married men or wrinkly old "Wazungus" who take them to Diani from where they post cropped pictures of themselves lying in sun beds but the wrinkly saggy legs of the sponsor who she couldn't crop off is still in the photos.

5. Birds of Pray.
They attend Nigerian pastor's crusade where the entry fee is Sh 12,000 and is 'How to get married in three weeks'. Sometimes they get in denial mode and talk about fiancé no one has ever seen and trips to Italy with fiancé not even angels know, then they post themselves in Holiday alone.

6. Ratchet Birds
These liberated community wives who have no qualms juggling seven married men. They party hard and try pinning it on all seven married lovers who will all say, "it wasn't me."

7. Agony Birds.

They are the mad single women who advise married friends, "Your man came home at seven in the evening? Who does that? If he leaves office at five he should be home by six" She is the agony aunt to female friends she was with in schools and her advice breaks more marriages than politicians with election promises.

8. Flight Birds.
These are plotless single women constantly seeking weekend trips outside town but all her friends are married and can't join her, she often rants "Sasa you can't pick my calls because you have a boyfriend? She ends up spending the whole weekend watching 'Power' series.

9. Rich Birds.
They are the single independent women living in their own stone houses from where they regularly send  facebook posts about marriage not being an achievement but in the evening buries her head on the pillows of her cold lonely bed and sobs to sleep wondering, "Mungu wangu nani aliniroga?"

10. Sun Birds.
They are beautiful, intelligent and so homely every wants to marry her, they are gracious, funny and damn good at their jobs. They look good in Kitenge, a two piece suit or even a sack, but their being so good sees many men avoiding them because she isn't the type of a woman to be played with.


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