That article by SILAS NYANCHWANI that left married women baying for his blood, the painful TRUTH about infidelity.


By SILAS NYANCHWANI

There is a new school of thought among modern women that I have been observing keenly, lately.

Any time there talk in town about female infidelity, they make highly sarcastic remarks about the situation. Typically, they use the lines that society uses to encourage women to stay with a man who cheats.

As an educated man, I know where they are coming from. 

They say, if a man can cheat, a woman should cheat too. Fair enough.

Actually there women who secretly revenge on their cheating husbands. And some who cheat with no fear of consequences, whatsoever.

A university degree and some corporate job, and a few Hollywood movies have given women the illusion of equality. But we are not equal. It is still a man's world and will be for long time.

I don't approve of cheating at all. But I am a realist.

If a man who is 38 catches his wife who is 34 cheating, he can leave, and a few months down the line, meet a stunning 24 year-old and start life with her. But a 34-year mother of three has limited options. The pool of men available to her for marriage, sex or even dating is hardly her dream choice. It is either a matatu conductor, some gym instructor or a very old man or a misguided young gigolo, out to chop her alimony. Hardly will she meet a hotshot 34 year-old man willing to settle her.

A woman's biggest possesion is her age. And man, his money. That is why women never disclose their age and men lie about their material possesions. That is why the older a woman grows, the more she will spend on make-up, so as to be desirable to the best men there are.

It is easy to dismiss this as patriachal bullshit but it is the way things are.

Cheating hurts both men and women, and I have just read a Yukio Mishima short story, Death in Midsummer and there is a line there, "Men in all their fickleness are more sentimental than women". Tony Parsons wrote in GQ a while ago that even men who are players hate being played.

And it is up to women to tell us how hurtful cheating is to them. But for men, a woman cheating on you is the worst indictment of your manhood. That is why some kill, others rarely forgive or forget.

This things are biological and evolutionary. Biologically again each sex has it's limitations. Sleeping around for women is riskier than men, that you know. But this is not a justification for men to cheat or sleep around. Maybe lately some men do get carried away by their mistresses, but for the longest time men could cheat and still 'love' the wife. Or at least provide. But quite too often, when a married woman starts to cheat, it is over. Soon or later she gets carried by emotions, because the other man, may be buys gifts or lay the pipe better. 

I do know of women who do it purely at a physical level, but they are an exception, not rule.
There is no sex that is more evil than the other. Men have kept secret families that surface when he does suddenly and the other families has to come out of woodworks to demand their fair share of the estate. Women too can have you raise a child who is not yours and you will never know.

But bottom line, if you are a married woman, considering cheating, way on the consequences. Society will side with the man, including 90 percent of your female relatives. If a man cheats, the same people who will condemn you, will ask you to stay for the sake of children...and Family.

Lastly, women who are caught cheating and the husband happens to be the less forgiving type, and if he is powerful, they take custody of children. You don't want to be a mother who is only allowed to see her children once a month.

These things happen. You can choose to live with the illusion that we are an equal society, but be in the wrong end of infidelity and you can see how fast your world can tumble.

I didn't make the rules.

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