Married MEN can relate to this post, At times, wives can be a pain in the butt lakini ndoa ni kuvumiliana (READ)


By  Councilor Njohi.

The only thing most men fear me included is someone called Wife. Not that she can beat me, in-fact she is too tinny. But these people have a way of looking for trouble and they have energy reserves to take up an argument and drag it for 3 days continuously. On that day when you just want peace, when you just want to sleep undisturbed, she will come up with a million lame questions and demand for answers. Answers that you don't have.

You will go catch a few drinks with your nigga Kim as you watch football. Kim is your guy through and through , but somehow Mama Watoto hates him for absolutely no reason and she expects you to join her in hating an innocent soul..

Simu inaisha moto and you give it to the mhudumu at the counter to recharge it. Mama calls and you are mteja. She will continuously call for the next 2 hours but stories zimeshika and you don't realize that time is moving. When you finally ask for your phone to pay the bill, its 3AM - 5 hours after the match ended. Satan turned the time machine. At that point your goose is already cooked. You can't call or text back. You pay the bill and leave for home teke teke.

You get home and Mama Watoto amefura kama mandazi. She asks where you have been and why the phone is off. You tell her the whole truth as it were. She asks whom you were with BUT you can't mention Kim because that will be the start of a mega standoff. A drunkard cannot lie and she notices that you have panicked.

She will take this opportunity and accuse you of things unimaginable. From girls, to avoiding her, to trying to sabotage the relationship. You look at her and wonder what demons have gotten into her. Wewe kwa club ata haukuspank waiter. You just watched football, drunk alcohol and laughed with an old friend. She will demand for answers and explanations for things unknown to you. She will talk, talk, talk, rant and rant and rant for hours.

Finally she will ask "kwani unatakanga wasichana Wangapi?" At this point you are already angry now because of false accusations and you are too sleepy. Out of anger you murmur "ngaigania ndahaica njogu" (I will get satisfied when I climb an elephant).. This will have caught her off-guard and her game plan is distorted and all she can say is "rìmwe waragia atìa ta mwana" (sometimes you talk like a child). She will click, face the wall and warn you to  NEVER touch her.

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