This is how I fell into depression despite a good career and almost committed suicide- TOM OSANJO.

Depression is dangerous! My story: you see folks about a month ago I slid into severe depression. Now when depression checks in it brings with it a feeling of absolute hopelessness. Then there is this gripping fear that one can't explain. Then there are the sleepless moments. Then when you get some sleep there are the unending nightmares.

You dream of people chasing you like an off duty pickpocket. What the heck, one night I dreamt of the Deputy President William Ruto chasing me in a maize plantation. Despite all these, with the exaggerated sense of self importance like the village rat catcher I kept to myself. That is another thing depression does- you want to be by yourself. There are those days you do not want anything- no food, no shower, no tooth brush. You switch off the lights and crawl under the duvet.

I remember on three occasions I lay my head down and prayed asking God that may I never wake up. God refused answering my prayers. I remembered a close pal of mine who also went through depression and when he couldn't take it anymore he decided to take his own life. Unfortunately the scheme backfired. The drugs he took refused to work. The next day I called him very furious.

An extremely hilarious man, he started ranting against drugs manufacturers who could not make drugs that work. I also remembered how my pal, lawyer Njonjo Muedetailed the struggles he went through with depression that saw him abandon his masters studies at Oxford University. In my case I held on to my secret and the only soul who knew what was happening to me is the King of the Sabaots, Daniel Kapsoot.

Funnily on the outside I appeared well and in fact even here on facebook I would make normal posts. When things were going real bad God checked in. Now there is this one lady I love and respect deeply, Lizzy Favor Yogo. For the past 10 years or so that we have been friends Lizzy has a way of knowing when things are not right with me.

So this day she calls and as usual she begins" Buda niaje? Manze hebu nishow kama uko poa." Because I want to be alone I lie to her that I am hale and hearty. Lizzy is not fooled. She realises there is some problem. Asks the husband Osborn Yogo George to hunt me down for a man to man talk.

With the speed of DPP Noordin Hajji looking for murder suspects George gets me and we have a very long chat. The Yogos then tell me that they know a pastor and counsellor who can offer help. That is how I get in touch with Evangelist Mary Njeri. I become very hostile to her. I remember one day in pure rage yelling at her: You are a very nagging woman. But the lady from Murang'a would not cede ground. She persisted with her calls and prayers. 

Then my eyes opened- this was ssomeone who owes me nothing but was going out of her way to help. Whoever said there is no fool like an old fool might have had me in mind. I apologised and we started the walk towards my healing. In between she roped in her best friend. Pastor Zainabu. The kind of love these people showed me is simply out of this world.

Serious counselling and prayers.At my work place Anne Musotsi, my superviser, the legendary James Ohayo and the big boss herself Christine Musisi were also quite helpful.
 All these three are very prayerful people. This helped in my resolution to fight on. That is how I got the healing. Why am I writing this? Please be reaching out to your friends. People go through a lot and all they need is someone to walk with them. Good week ahead children of God....


The Kenyan DAILY POST

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