Letter to Citizen TV’s JANET MBUGUA…….LOVE in the AIR


Wednesday, January 30, 2013 - She is one of very many news anchors who media houses use to attract viewers. Actually the beautiful women are the reason why most men watch news especially at prime time. We are talking about the likes of KTN’s Linda Ogutu, Kiss TV’s Grace Msalame, Citizen TV’s Janet Mbugua, Lilian Muli Kanene and Julie Gichuru.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and for a certain man who is in love with Citizen TV’s Janet Mbugua, a letter was the only way to get to her heart.

Below is the hilarious letter to Mbugua courtesy of Kiss 100’s Jalang’o.

Dear Janet Mbugua,

I have attempted to suppress my feelings since Monday 9PM but that effort has been subjected to futility. Yawaa I comprehend that just like Lilian Muli, you are also matrimonially abducted and as such, I should mutilate any hopes of pursuing your affection. Nevertheless my corneas still detect and appreciate that both of you oozes aesthetics in gigantic proportions, both of you not only radiate but also advertise beauty via minimal effort. Yawaaa indeed it is correct that birds of the same feather locomote in unison.

On that day, Monday 21st January 2013, 2100Hrs The regalia u embedded on your body laminated your anatomy in a cohesive and jealous manner. It stalked your physique, tracing every contour that is depicted in your fauna. Manners has barred me from oozing positive appreciation towards your mammary glands in public domain, but your hips will not be accosted similar amnesty. Woman, yawaa flesh has resided in your pelvic areas in an inciting manner; the bulging of ur hips at the periphery of your posterior ial mass is unanimously seductive, its mere sight alerts the organs that inhabits my loins. I emit appreciation towards the plateau existing in your front abdominal as your stomach does not custod overlapping intestines (tyres). Yawaaa u were chiseled yawaaa!!!

Despite the fact that you are vertically endowed thereby raising your center of gravity hence making you vulnerable to falling, irony has sided with you by condemning my heart to be the one to succumb to gravitational pull. I have fallen. Yawaa because of you, I just imported a plasma 67” 3D spectrum colour television from Australia that is charged with the onus of airing only news that is being relinquished by the tongue that is tethered in close proximity to ur alluring face.

Yours sincerely.

Opiyo.

The Kenyan DAILY POST

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